Professor Bum


Nigel Fuzzybum: Oh dear, this will not do at all!
Hero: Anything I can help you with, Mister Fuzzy — uh…
Nigel Fuzzybum (Sandsea Scholar): Fuzzybum! And it's Professor Fuzzybum, thank you.
Nigel Fuzzybum (Sandsea Scholar): Bastion's resident scholar of the Sandsea's expansive history.
Hero: Ok, Professor Fuzzy…bum, what seems to be the problem?
Nigel Fuzzybum: Someone has graffitied the statues of our noble Lord Sekt…
Nigel Fuzzybum: He who rose from nothing to become the Immortal God-King of the Sandsea…
Nigel Fuzzybum: …reigning over this land for centuries!
Hero: Hold on, Sekt's immortal? How did that happen?
Nigel Fuzzybum: Well, it's a truly grand and epic story… and one I happen to love to tell.
Hero: It's not too long, I hope?
Nigel Fuzzybum: Oh, fine. I'll tell you the shorter version.
Nigel Fuzzybum: Long ago, when the Sandsea was a vibrant, prosperous land.
Nigel Fuzzybum: The Keeper of Death created an object that would grant its holder any wish they desired…
Hero: And Sekt found it and wished to become an Immortal God-King?
Nigel Fuzzybum: Wha— whos's telling the one telling the story here?!
Nigel Fuzzybum: But yes, that's exactly what happened.
Hero: So this Sekt guy would know where the lamp is?
Nigel Fuzzybum: Lord Sekt, and yes, I would wager so.
Nigel Fuzzybum: Now, you mentioned that you desired to help me?
Hero: Yes, is there anything I can do for you?
Nigel Fuzzybum: You can assist me by cleaning Lord Sekt's status throughout the town.
Nigel Fuzzybum: A little water may do the trick.

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