Why Are You Naked?


D-Piddy (Big Deal): Hey you! Got a spare tunic I could buy off you?
Hero: Uh… you're naked.
D-Piddy (Big Deal): I've been nakeder. Great observation though.
D-Piddy (Big Deal): Look, I'm famous. Like, super famous!
Hero: !?
D-Piddy (Big Deal): I'm D. Piddy! Cosplaying YouTuber extraordinaire!
Hero: Never heard of you.
D-Piddy (Big Deal): Thanks but sorry. No autographs. Don't make this weird.
D-Piddy (Big Deal): Besides, my Sharpie was in my outfit that this DreadFool guy stole.
Hero: Somebody stole your clothes?
D-Piddy (Big Deal): Look who just joined the conversation!
D-Piddy (Big Deal): Ya know, I've been to a lot of conventions but you guys take this stuff to a new level.
Hero: This isn't a convention. It's a labyrinth.
D-Piddy (Big Deal): Yeah, this dude walks up and says he's a huge fan…
D-Piddy (Big Deal): … then asks to borrow my outfit and I'm like "weird but sure", and he vanishes!
D-Piddy (Big Deal): I managed to cobble together some tighty-whities out of dried moss and snot…
Hero: You cobble shoes, not underwear.
D-Piddy (Big Deal): … but I'm cold. I've got a rash in a really, REALLY bad spot…
D-Piddy (Big Deal): …and I'm extremely hungry! This is the only convention I've ever been to without food stands every 15 feet.
DreadFool (Assassin/Jester): Heeey, there he is. Hi, Piddy!
D-Piddy (Big Deal): THAT'S HIM! THAT'S THE GUY!
D-Piddy (Big Deal): THOSE ARE MY TIGHTS!
DreadFool (Assassin/Jester): They fit like a dream. Thanks again.
D-Piddy (Big Deal): Dude, GIVE! You asked to borrow them A WEEK AGO!
DreadFool (Assassin/Jester): Sorry, I borrowed them fair and square. They're mine now.
D-Piddy (Big Deal): That's NOT how borrowing works!!!
Hero: So what's your deal, DreadFool?
DreadFool (Assassin/Jester): I may be a trained assassin but my real passion has always been court jestering.
DreadFool (Assassin/Jester): All I needed was the outfit. My life is now complete!
DreadFool (Assassin/Jester): If you want these clothes back, you'll have to pry them off my cold, dead corpse.
D-Piddy (Big Deal): We're not murderers… but WE WILL KILL YOU TO DEATH if you don't hand them over right now!
Hero: "We"?
D-Piddy (Big Deal): Yes, "We". We're a team now!
D-Piddy (Big Deal): D. Piddy and <Hero>!
D-Piddy (Big Deal): Now, GO GET HIM!
D-Piddy (Big Deal): I'll be here if you need encouragement or something.
DreadFool (Assassin/Jester): CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, <Hero>!

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